Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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