His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
