Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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