You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
