Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
