I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
