i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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