Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
