He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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