If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
