this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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