Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
