i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
