so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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