So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
