i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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