I must be too annoying 4 u.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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