butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
