Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize