Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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