you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
