Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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