and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
