I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You did what with his pubic hair?
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