She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
