ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
