After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize