Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
