maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
