oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
