hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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