im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize