New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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