no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
