I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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