my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
