i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
