when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
