OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
