Moan for me like Helen Keller
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
