It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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