Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize