It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
