I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
