maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
