Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
