How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
