she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
