Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
