All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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