3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
