I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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