also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
