Im at strip club and am horny
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
