singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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