I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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