you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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