took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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