its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
