I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
