my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
