...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
