My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
babies were throwing up all over the place
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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