You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
