Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
