You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Alive.
So much puke
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
