i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she pinky promised me she was 18
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
